My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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