***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
