Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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