While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
