you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize