I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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