I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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