He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
