I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize