At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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