so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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