Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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