I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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