TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
not ubering you a puppy
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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