You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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