Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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