I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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