Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
