waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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