If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize