Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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