My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
