Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize