using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
