he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
