non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
