yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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