if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
