why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
