quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize