Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
