The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize