neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
