At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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