Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
