Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
even my farts smell like vagina
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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