I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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