I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
