God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize