i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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