i would punch a child for taco bell
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
