it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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