So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am available for nakedness
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