just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
