Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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