I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
