as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
