i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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