Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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