Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
