i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
