two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
