And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
