come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
