I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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